The Purity of Children

Our daughter Jenna is the definition of cuteness and innocence. She sees the excitement in ordinary events that completely pass by me. Seeing the world through her eyes is truly refreshing. But where does that cuteness come from? Newton's Third Law of Motion states that "for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction". This shows us the dark side of Jenna's childish perfection. For her to be so incredibly cute, there must be and equal and opposite reaction - there must be some evil created to balance out the good that we see every way. But how can Jenna possibly be associated with the loathsome reality that is required to exist? The answer is simple: dirty diapers. So that the universe remains balanced, all of her goodness is balanced by a truly toxic production from the nether regions. Her emissions have given her a spot in the EPA's top ten list of the world's worst polluters. Maybe I should hope that our next child is not so cute.